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Abandoned Property
Can I refuse to return my ex-boyfriend's property from a safe deposit box?

Can I refuse to return my ex-boyfriend's property from a safe deposit box?

Full question:

My boyfriend and I had kept some personal items in a safe deposit when we were dating. After our breakup, I asked my boyfriend to take his things away from the safe deposit, as I was the sole person paying for the safe deposit. He never responded to my reminders. Now after 3 years he has come back to get his things back. Isn't his property abandoned? Can I refuse to give his things to him presuming it to have been abandoned by him?

Category: Abandoned Property
Date: 04/07/2025
State: Vermont

Answer:

It seems you may not be able to consider your ex-boyfriend's property in the safe deposit box as abandoned yet, since it has only been three years since he last claimed it. According to state law, property in a safe deposit box is presumed abandoned if the owner does not claim it for more than five years after the lease or rental period expires.

The relevant law states that tangible property held in a safe deposit box is presumed abandoned after five years of non-claim (27 V.S.A. § 1243). Therefore, since only three years have passed, you are still required to return his items if he requests them.

This content is for informational purposes only and is not legal advice. Legal statutes mentioned reflect the law at the time the content was written and may no longer be current. Always verify the latest version of the law before relying on it.

FAQs

How long do you have to get your stuff after a breakup?

There is no specific time limit for retrieving your belongings after a breakup, but it is advisable to do so as soon as possible. If you leave items with your ex, they may keep them or consider them abandoned. Generally, if property is not claimed for five years, it can be considered abandoned under state law (27 V.S.A. § 1243). To avoid disputes, communicate clearly and set a timeline for collecting your items.

How to get belongings back after a breakup?

To retrieve your belongings after a breakup, start by contacting your ex and requesting a time to collect your items. Be polite and clear about what you want. If they refuse or ignore your request, consider sending a formal letter outlining your claim to the property. If necessary, you may need to seek legal advice or mediation to resolve the issue, especially if the items are valuable.

Is it okay to check on someone you broke up with?

Checking on an ex after a breakup can be acceptable, but it depends on the nature of your relationship and the breakup. If both parties feel comfortable, a brief message may be fine. However, if the breakup was difficult or if one person needs space, it's best to respect those boundaries. Always consider their feelings and your motives before reaching out.

How do you know if you're over your ex?

You may know you are over your ex when you no longer feel intense emotions such as sadness or anger when thinking about them. Signs include being able to enjoy activities without their presence, moving on with your life, and being open to new relationships. Reflecting on your feelings and experiences can help clarify your emotional state.

Why is my ex keeping my stuff after a breakup?

Your ex may keep your belongings for various reasons, such as wanting to avoid confrontation, hoping to maintain a connection, or simply forgetting about them. In some cases, they might believe the items are still theirs or feel overwhelmed by the breakup. It's best to communicate directly about retrieving your items to clarify the situation.

What is the 21 day rule breakup?

The 21-day rule suggests that after a breakup, individuals should take a break from contacting their ex for at least 21 days. This period allows both parties to process their emotions and gain clarity. It can help prevent impulsive decisions and give time to reflect on the relationship's dynamics. However, this is not a strict rule and may vary based on personal circumstances.