Should I choose custody or adoption for my daughter?

Full question:

I live in NJ and my mother lives in NC. My soon to be 5 year old daughter has been in her care since my birthday 8/23/2016. I am struggling with drug addiction. Is it better to let my mom have custody of my daughter or adoption? My mother is well established financially and has great medical benefits. I just want what's best for my daughter. I still have full custody. I've had a Dyfs case in the past and don't want another one or my daughter to be taken away... Please help with your professional legal advice.

• Category: Minors
• Subcategory: Custody
• Date: 04/07/2025
• State: New Jersey

Answer:

There is a significant difference between granting custody and pursuing adoption. If you choose adoption, you would relinquish all parental rights and would no longer be recognized as your daughter's mother. This means she cannot inherit from you unless specified in a will. Consider the future; if you recover from your addiction, you may wish to maintain a relationship with her. With your mother as the potential adopter, you might still have contact, but there’s a risk of being prohibited from it later.

If you opt for custody instead, your mother would have the necessary rights to care for your daughter, and you might be able to arrange for supervised visitation. It’s advisable to have your mother agree that custody is the best option and to jointly petition the court for custody. This can lead to an agreed order that reflects both your and your mother’s wishes.

Keep in mind that if custody is granted, you may be required to pay child support, but you would retain your status as her mother. It’s recommended to involve a lawyer to assist you and your mother in this process, as it is likely to yield a result that aligns with your desires. However, be aware that the court could still terminate your parental rights during custody proceedings. Taking the right approach and having your mother's support can help minimize this risk.