How Can a Stepfather Adopt a Child?

Full question:

I need to send paperwork to my ex to terminate parental rights. I am married and he does not have a relationship with my daughter. My husband is doing to adopt. Is there something I can mail to him asap to have him sign. He has requested something mailed to him. He lives in Illinois I live in Washington state. What form would I send to him that is legal and binding?

• Category: Adoption
• Date: 04/07/2025
• State: Illinois

Answer:

When a relinqishment of rights and consent to adoption by a father is incorporated into a court order of adoption, it will be legal and binding. Both biological parents, if living, must consent or agree to a stepparent adoption. When a stepparent adopts a stepchild, either the non-custodial parent of the child willingly gives up his or her parental rights to the child, or the court terminates the parental rights of a biological parent if there is evidence of abuse or neglect to the child. If a parent is not involved in the child's life, the court can terminate that biological parents rights on the grounds of abandonment. Grounds for abandonment in most states are no contact between the parent and child for at least one year.

A parent may also have rights terminated, either by voluntary relinquishment or judicial termination. A judicial termination requires proof that the parent is unfit and/or poses a threat of harm to the child. The court may order termination of the parent-child relationship if the court finds by clear and convincing evidence that the parent engaged in conduct or knowingly placed the child with persons who engaged in conduct which endangers the physical or emotional well-being of the child, or the parent is convicted an a child abuse offense. A termination of parental rights voids any rights and obligations toward the child. The parent will no longer have rights to custody or visitation and will no longer owe a duty of support.

Termination of parental rights will typically end the obligation for child support at that point, but not erase liability for past due support. Often, relinquishment of parental rights will not be allowed if done for the purpose of avoiding child support payments.

A name change of a minor may be done without relinquishing parental rights, even if the other parent doesn't consent. Plus, the parent will still owe a duty of support to the child, so it is unnecesssary to let a parent off the hook for child support merely to change a minor's name. The court must find that the name change is for the benefit of or in the interests of the minor. It will be a matter of subjective determination for the court, based on all the facts and circumstances involved. The other parent will be notified and given an opportunity to object to the name change. The court must believe you are not asking to change the minor child’s name to avoid creditors, obstruct criminal prosecution, or to perpetrate a criminal or civil fraud. If the other parent objects, you must provide evidence that shows the judge that the requested name change is in the child’s best interests.

Please see the following IL statute:

750 ILCS 50/8) (from Ch. 40, par. 1510)
Sec. 8. Consents to adoption and surrenders for purposes of adoption.
(a) Except as hereinafter provided in this Section consents or surrenders shall be required in all cases, unless the person whose consent or surrender would otherwise be required shall be found by the court:
(1) to be an unfit person as defined in Section 1 of
this Act, by clear and convincing evidence; or

(2) not to be the biological or adoptive father of
the child; or

(3) to have waived his parental rights to the child
under Section 12a or 12.1 of this Act; or

(4) to be the parent of an adult sought to be
adopted; or

(5) to be the father of the child as a result of
criminal sexual abuse or assault as defined under Article 12 of the Criminal Code of 1961; or

(6) to be the father of a child who:
(i) is a family member of the mother of the
child, and the mother is under the age of 18 at the time of the child's conception; for purposes of this subsection, a "family member" is a parent, step‑parent, grandparent, step‑grandparent, sibling, or cousin of the first degree, whether by whole blood, half‑blood, or adoption, as well as a person age 18 or over at the time of the child's conception who has resided in the household with the mother continuously for at least one year; or

(ii) is at least 5 years older than the child's
mother, and the mother was under the age of 17 at the time of the child's conception, unless the mother and father voluntarily acknowledge the father's paternity of the child by marrying or by establishing the father's paternity by consent of the parties pursuant to the Illinois Parentage Act of 1984 or pursuant to a substantially similar statute in another state.

A criminal conviction of any offense pursuant to
Article 12 of the Criminal Code of 1961 is not required.

(b) Where consents are required in the case of an adoption of a minor child, the consents of the following persons shall be sufficient:
(1) (A) The mother of the minor child; and
(B) The father of the minor child, if the father:
(i) was married to the mother on the date of
birth of the child or within 300 days before the birth of the child, except for a husband or former husband who has been found by a court of competent jurisdiction not to be the biological father of the child; or

(ii) is the father of the child under a
judgment for adoption, an order of parentage, or an acknowledgment of parentage or paternity pursuant to subsection (a) of Section 5 of the Illinois Parentage Act of 1984; or

(iii) in the case of a child placed with the
adopting parents less than 6 months after birth, openly lived with the child, the child's biological mother, or both, and held himself out to be the child's biological father during the first 30 days following the birth of the child; or

(iv) in the case of a child placed with the
adopting parents less than 6 months after birth, made a good faith effort to pay a reasonable amount of the expenses related to the birth of the child and to provide a reasonable amount for the financial support of the child before the expiration of 30 days following the birth of the child, provided that the court may consider in its determination all relevant circumstances, including the financial condition of both biological parents; or

(v) in the case of a child placed with the
adopting parents more than 6 months after birth, has maintained substantial and continuous or repeated contact with the child as manifested by: (I) the payment by the father toward the support of the child of a fair and reasonable sum, according to the father's means, and either (II) the father's visiting the child at least monthly when physically and financially able to do so and not prevented from doing so by the person or authorized agency having lawful custody of the child, or (III) the father's regular communication with the child or with the person or agency having the care or custody of the child, when physically and financially unable to visit the child or prevented from doing so by the person or authorized agency having lawful custody of the child. The subjective intent of the father, whether expressed or otherwise unsupported by evidence of acts specified in this sub‑paragraph as manifesting such intent, shall not preclude a determination that the father failed to maintain substantial and continuous or repeated contact with the child; or

(vi) in the case of a child placed with the
adopting parents more than six months after birth, openly lived with the child for a period of six months within the one year period immediately preceding the placement of the child for adoption and openly held himself out to be the father of the child; or

(vii) has timely registered with Putative
Father Registry, as provided in Section 12.1 of this Act, and prior to the expiration of 30 days from the date of such registration, commenced legal proceedings to establish paternity under the Illinois Parentage Act of 1984 or under the law of the jurisdiction of the child's birth; or

(2) The legal guardian of the person of the child,
if there is no surviving parent; or

(3) An agency, if the child has been surrendered for
adoption to such agency; or

(4) Any person or agency having legal custody of a
child by court order if the parental rights of the parents have been judicially terminated, and the court having jurisdiction of the guardianship of the child has authorized the consent to the adoption; or

(5) The execution and verification of the petition
by any petitioner who is also a parent of the child sought to be adopted shall be sufficient evidence of such parent's consent to the adoption.

(c) Where surrenders to an agency are required in the case of a placement for adoption of a minor child by an agency, the surrenders of the following persons shall be sufficient:
(1) (A) The mother of the minor child; and
(B) The father of the minor child, if the father:
(i) was married to the mother on the date of
birth of the child or within 300 days before the birth of the child, except for a husband or former husband who has been found by a court of competent jurisdiction not to be the biological father of the child; or

(ii) is the father of the child under a
judgment for adoption, an order of parentage, or an acknowledgment of parentage or paternity pursuant to subsection (a) of Section 5 of the Illinois Parentage Act of 1984; or

(iii) in the case of a child placed with the
adopting parents less than 6 months after birth, openly lived with the child, the child's biological mother, or both, and held himself out to be the child's biological father during the first 30 days following the birth of a child; or

(iv) in the case of a child placed with the
adopting parents less than 6 months after birth, made a good faith effort to pay a reasonable amount of the expenses related to the birth of the child and to provide a reasonable amount for the financial support of the child before the expiration of 30 days following the birth of the child, provided that the court may consider in its determination all relevant circumstances, including the financial condition of both biological parents; or

(v) in the case of a child placed with the
adopting parents more than six months after birth, has maintained substantial and continuous or repeated contact with the child as manifested by: (I) the payment by the father toward the support of the child of a fair and reasonable sum, according to the father's means, and either (II) the father's visiting the child at least monthly when physically and financially able to do so and not prevented from doing so by the person or authorized agency having lawful custody of the child or (III) the father's regular communication with the child or with the person or agency having the care or custody of the child, when physically and financially unable to visit the child or prevented from doing so by the person or authorized agency having lawful custody of the child. The subjective intent of the father, whether expressed or otherwise, unsupported by evidence of acts specified in this sub‑paragraph as manifesting such intent, shall not preclude a determination that the father failed to maintain substantial and continuous or repeated contact with the child; or

(vi) in the case of a child placed with the
adopting parents more than six months after birth, openly lived with the child for a period of six months within the one year period immediately preceding the placement of the child for adoption and openly held himself out to be the father of the child; or

(vii) has timely registered with the
Putative Father Registry, as provided in Section 12.1 of this Act, and prior to the expiration of 30 days from the date of such registration, commenced legal proceedings to establish paternity under the Illinois Parentage Act of 1984, or under the law of the jurisdiction of the child's birth.

(d) In making a determination under subparagraphs (b)(1) and (c)(1), no showing shall be required of diligent efforts by a person or agency to encourage the father to perform the acts specified therein.
(e) In the case of the adoption of an adult, only the consent of such adult shall be required.
(Source: P.A. 93‑510, eff. 1‑1‑04; 94‑530, eff. 1‑1‑06.)