How do we care for an aunt who has dementia and will not sign a Power of Attorney?

Full question:

My 83 year old aunt has dementia and will not let anyone in her house but my sister. She refuses to take her medication and will not let anyone have power of attorney. We (family) are worried something will happen to her requiring hospital or nursing care. She has enough funds to pay for assisted living. My 2 sisters and I are her only relatives. How do we handle something like this? She is not a friendly dementia..a nasty one unfortunately with delutions and paranoia. She can still dress herself but the house is a mess. She cannot shop, drive, or do any activities without my sister. I am a medical professional and would like to get health care proxy for her.

• Category: Power of Attorney
• Subcategory: Advanced Health Care Directive
• Date: 04/07/2025
• State: New York

Answer:

In order for a person to make someone else an agent for purposes of making health care decisions on her behalf, the person appointing the agent needs to have the mental capacity to understand the nature and consequences of her actions. A person who suffers from dementia may be considered incapable of making an enforceable health care power directive.

A guardianship is a legal relationship created when a person or institution named in a will or assigned by the court to take care of minor children or incompetent adults. To establish a guardianship, a petition is typically filed in state court where the ward lives. This petition usually names the potential guardian and provides information about the parties' relationship (if any) and usually any pertinent information about the heirs or estate of the ward. In the case of an adult ward, if mental incapacity is the reason for the petition, medical documentation should accompany the filing. Notice of the time and place of the hearing is given to the potential ward and other persons specified by statute. The documents are served on the interested parties at which point the proposed ward or his or her relatives can object to the guardianship request. A hearing is held. If the court finds sufficient evidence to order the guardianship, it may issue subsequent orders, which govern the relationship and the guardian's actions. The court may appoint a guardian if it finds the person is incapacitated and the appointment is necessary to provide continuing care and supervision of the person. Incapacity can result from any number of conditions, including, but not limited to mental illness, mental deficiency, mental disorder, physical illness or disability, chronic use of alcohol or other drugs. Essentially, the court must be convinced that the individual lacks sufficient understanding or capacity to make or communicate responsible decisions. A guardian must submit written reports to the court according to the court's orders and the law of the jurisdiction in which the guardianship takes place. If a guardianship is contested, the court may appoint a disinterested third party to investigate and make recommendations. Usually called a guardian ad litem, this person evaluates both the necessity for a guardianship, and the appropriateness of the proposed guardian. The ward may also hire separate legal counsel. If the proposed ward is indigent, the court sometimes appoints counsel.