Can we choose a nursing home for my father with dementia?

Full question:

My father is 85 years old. We live in Southeast Michigan. We recently put him into an assisted living home. We will be paying for it with his social security money, and the benefits he gets from Aid and Attendance from being a World War II veteran. We moved him to this nursing home because he can no longer physically take care of himself. It will slowly drain his and my mother's expenses. However, it is the only logical way we can think of to keep them together. Now I believe a new problem is setting in. It is my opinion that he is beginning to show strong signs of dementia. It would not make much sense to drain their expenses in an assisted living home when he doesn't have memory of it. However, we have heard many horror stories about Medicaid nursing homes and the type of care they provide. My parents have their social security income (about $1950.00 per month), and $40,000 to $45,000 in savings left. My thought is that my father gets increasingly worse, the best thing to do would to be him to go to a nursing home, and have my mother live with my sister. If we considered this, is there any way we could have a say in which nursing home he has to live in?

• Category: Living Wills
• Date: 04/07/2025
• State: Michigan

Answer:

The ability to choose a nursing home for your father depends on whether he still has legal capacity to sign documents. Legal capacity means he can understand the nature and consequences of his actions. Generally, individuals with dementia may still have the ability to understand the importance of legal documents, but this can vary.

Once a dementia diagnosis is made, it’s essential for family members to assist in making legal plans. Early planning allows the person with dementia to participate in decisions while they are still able. Key areas to address include:

• Health care and long-term care coverage
• Financial and property management
• Naming someone to make decisions on their behalf

Important documents to consider include a living will, power of attorney, and testamentary will. If your father no longer has the legal capacity to sign these documents, establishing a guardianship may be necessary.