Full question:
My husband of 27 years just told me while on his yearly trip to England to see his family for the last 5 years that he is not coming back. We were arguing too much about finances and his health is not great. At that time I asked him if he wanted a divorce he said no. But that does not make sense if he does not plan to come back unless it is so he does not have to split our debts. He is 55 and I am 50 years of age. He say he won't pay for any expenses here anymore. He said he did so for the last 27 years and he is gong to need money in England. He is living with his family right now. His income had dropped in the the last few year dramatically from around 80,000 a year to 25,000 year due to health reasons and the economy. He was in sales on commission only.I occasionally helped him with his office work over the years. I started working almost 5 years as a loan signer and R.E. agent and my income has slowly been going up and is around 4,000 per month. I was helping with the bills but It was not enough to stop our credit cards balances to go up. Now that he is not going to help financially I am trying to rent out 2-3 rooms in the house but it is not easy to do so. Our daughter is 21 and studying in college in Sacramento. Before he left he had gone to the Emergency room with an ambulance with breathing problems. I was working at that time I did not know he was there until he called me from the hospital . I went to pick him up and brought him home. Now the bill for that day is here and it is $1200 for the Ambulance and $600 for the Hospital. I told him about the Ambulance so far but not the hospital but I do not think he will pay for it. Our 1st Mortgage is $300,000 and 2nd is 135,000 (the note is in his name but i am on title for the 2nd)of which the first is Interest only so the principal is the same for the last 6 or 7 years and has not gone down.It is a 30 year loan so I do not think I can ever pay it off. The next increase is in 2 years and it will double the payment from $1565 to $3000. The second will also be adjusted to whatever the interest rate is at the adjustment. Right now the payment is around $300 a month. I am going to look into Modification but It will be difficult without him here and separated because both incomes might be considered. My total bills are going to b around $6000 a month with my business expenses included. I will try and get tenants in to help out financially. My question is if I file for divorce what are advantages and disadvantages in doing so? I am looking at the legal separation form too. He never told me he was not coming back before he left but he was planning it for the last 2 weeks or so because he was not acting normally and I though it was because of one of our arguments. He even stole my passport as I was looking for the Note for the house and I and did not see the passport where it is usually kept. I had just spent $350 or so to renew it and now it is gone. I guess he was worried I would follow him to England. I do not have any intentions of doing so. I do not like living in England. I lived there 6 years before we got married there.He did not tell me that he was not going to make the mortgage payment so I found out from the letter for the late payment from the Mortgage Co. I made the payment with the late fees and insufficient funds. I would like to stay in the house but might have to do a short sale if I cannot make ends meet. My daughter has been supportive and that is a blessing. I have friends who are shocked at what he did but I am also very embarrassed to tell more than just a couple of close friends about the situation. He will not call me and sometimes he will pick the phone and sometimes I just leave a message. Last 2 times he did not pick up the phone. I do not know if he will or not in the future. My daughter would be able to communicate with him though. He was a loving father and husband for most of the marriage. Just the financial situation broke us and I have a bad temper and lack communications skills. He just could not handle it anymore with his health. It was too stressful for us.
- Category: Debts and Credit
- Date:
- State: California
Answer:
Abandonment in legal terms can apply to various situations, including family relationships. In your case, it seems your husband has effectively abandoned you by not returning and ceasing financial support. This could be relevant if you decide to pursue a divorce.
In legal contexts, abandonment generally involves:
- Leaving the marital home without intent to return.
- Doing so without the other spouse's consent.
- Not having a legal justification for the departure.
In some states, if a spouse abandons the other without cause, they may be liable for support during the abandonment period. This can affect divorce proceedings, especially regarding property division, alimony, and custody arrangements.
Filing for divorce has both advantages and disadvantages:
- Advantages: You can legally end the marriage, which may relieve some emotional stress. You may also be entitled to spousal support or a share of marital assets.
- Disadvantages: Divorce can be costly and time-consuming. Additionally, it may involve complex legal issues regarding property division and debts, especially since your husband has stopped contributing financially.
Legal separation is another option, allowing you to live apart while remaining legally married. This can provide some benefits without fully dissolving the marriage.
Consulting with a family law attorney can help clarify your options and rights based on your specific circumstances and state laws.
This content is for informational purposes only and is not legal advice. Legal statutes mentioned reflect the law at the time the content was written and may no longer be current. Always verify the latest version of the law before relying on it.